Inside my Mind

Hey guys...sorry it's been ages. Been super busy with cheer, school, home life, etc. How's it goin you ask? Unfortunately, not all that well anymore. Due to my total bombing of grades (resulting in a 1.8 overall GPA), I am no longer a part of the cheer team. I haven't cried about it yet but it still hurts. We're on Christmas break for now and the new semester doesn't start until the 14th. I'd rather not talk about that right now though. School or cheer. One person I cannot seem to get off my mind is my sailor-boy. It's been two months and two days since we last saw each other face to face and I feel like it's not getting to be any easier. We don't even talk anymore. I'll get random snaps from time to time but that's about it. I'll be honest. I really miss him and while I don't think I could ever really be with a guy from the service right now, he would be the one to make me want to try. I get caught up fantasizing what it would be like if he came back and we got married and had a kid. Granted I'm still pregnant in my fantasies (even though it's only a food baby) and he's not really there until I'm resting in my bed alone, but a girl can dream right? Ha. I probably should stop reading about these kinds of romances though. It's putting these thoughts into my head. I'd like to think I'm in love but I know better. It's just infatuation. The consequence of a bad decision. But hey. It is what it is and until I figure out exactly what It really is, I think I'll try my best to avoid these delusions. For now I guess I'll take my own advice. Remember to always Follow Your Own and let your Hearts Speak. <3